Kendra has another question that everyone can learn from…
“Have you thought about offering a customizable CD in your shopping cart where people could choose the duty, choose the songs, the amount of songs, and the order?”
I understand where you are coming from – and there is an important reason why the answer is NO!. Because, if we did you wouldn’t see the same miraculous results that you do from the in-depth research behind the ‘press-of-a-button’ results that you now experience with Children’s Miracle Music. I recognize that every mom has their own idea about how they want their mornings and evenings to run. I have to tell you though, after years of testing in many different families’ homes we came to the conclusion that there was only one routine that was the most motivational in getting your kids housekeeping accomplished each day. Let me explain…
Naturally we would love to get up and do the easiest thing first which is to eat breakfast but the problem with this is that YOU will then need to help be the motivator in getting all of the other points done. The idea behind the game is to release you from having to be the motivator so that you can have the profession of being a TRAINER instead.
The music that is used on the game also has great research behind it. It needed to be a specific amount of time so that family members would feel that they need to hurry but still have enough time to accomplish the point (task). The music also needed to be selections that where highly motivational and specific to that point’s ‘beat’ in order to instantly change the atmosphere of the home into active participation.
Another breakthrough came to us when choosing the specific music for the Children’s Miracle Music game. This came when we had to find selections which could be recognizable – so that family members could hear it and, having heard it before, know how much time they have to do their point. It also had to be music which they would not get tired of. We accomplished this by sorting through thousands of tracks of music which do not have words to them. Words are what make you tired of listening to a song.
We did, however, choose a song that does have words for the last selection before you go out the door for the day so that you can keep singing it and be uplifted by it all day long. We found that even if you don’t like the last song you heard in the car before you turn it off, it’s easy to get it stuck in your head for the rest of the day! Since the words to the last song that you hear on the game are, “I am so happy. It is a lovely day…” family members are giving subliminal messages to themselves as they continue to sing it and automatically have a better day because of it.
There is lot’s to explore with Children’s Miracle Music – and I’m just getting going with what I call the Six Pillars of Strength - a full suite of tools and programs that give practical application to the core principles inherent within this game. I warmly encourage you to expand your own skills to train and cheerlead your family so that more miracles keep occurring.
Do leave me questions and comments in the comment section below each post. I would love to hear from you.
Here is a mother with a challenge… I am sure she is not alone.
She is burdened by the housekeeping and, neither her kids nor her husband are helping with the chores. Sound familiar? Her ideas — in this YouTube video is to take away privileges, money, and even possessions as a way to solve this. Clearly it’s not working. Watch the video below and then my suggestions below. Getting kids chores done and having kids housekeeping be fun is possible…
Dear “North Georgia Peach”,
I’m so glad that you took the time to post your question. After more than fifteen years of research on how to get kids chores done I can show you an easier way.
The idea is to make chores fun – and to train your kids (and husband too!) how to do that. The Children’s Miracle Music game instantly and automatically changes what you might call “chores” into what children see as fun tasks to do. To you, the game becomes a miraculous parenting tool which you can use to train your family on how to be skilled at and have the desire to do their chores WITHOUT you having to nag them. I know! It’s a MIRACLE! You said in your video… “that your children are only expected to do about ten minutes of work each day.”
CHALLENGE - if a chore should only take ten minutes, but you have not designated WHICH ten minutes, then you will probably have to wait for a very long time for your children to decide which ten minutes!
SOLUTION - The Children’s Miracle Music game uses music as a timing mechanism to let your kids know EXACTLY which ten minutes!
I don’t believe that it is wrong for you to expect certain things to be done by each family member every day. Your family members shouldn’t be thinking that the chores they do are to help YOU with YOUR work. The Children’s Miracle Music game automatically transfers exact responsibilities of chores to each person. Now you are able to ask THEM if they would like help learning how to care for THEIR areas.
There’s lot’s more ideas here on how to liberate yourself and your family – to have a happy and fun home atmosphere – where all the chores get done effortlessly. I would love to tell you a thousand more ideas about this. I’ll be writing more on this blog of the life changing research that I’ve found to work for my family and thousands of other families.
Please join the conversation here with questions and comments.
There was once a classroom of students who decided to do an experiment. When their teacher walked to the left side of the classroom they all yawned, looked out the window and looked generally bored.
When the teacher walked to the right side of the classroom they all sat up, were attentive, asked questions and tried to learn what the teacher was teaching.
The teacher quickly learned subconsciously that he should always stay on the right side of the room.
The same principle is effective with children and kids housekeeping. Since children crave attention, they will do - even on a subconscious level – whatever gets them attention.
If you aren’t giving them enough positive attention, they will behave negatively, to get negative attention. The natural reaction to this is for a parent to talk or yell at their child who’s not doing what she wants them to do.
If you want your child to be well-behaved or to do a specific task, give extra attention to those good behaviors and zero attention to the negative ones.
If a mother yells, her children will learn to yell, even if the mother is yelling, “We aren’t going to have any yelling in our home.” If a mother spanks her children, her children will learn to hit others. If a mother works on a computer all day, her children will learn that the computer is what they should value and where they should spend their time … you get the picture!
If a mother sets up a chore chart and doesn’t put “Mom” and “Dad” on the chart, her children will learn that when they are adults, they won’t have to take care of their surroundings and may not even take care of them as a child, since their parents don’t seem to think it’s important enough for THEM to do.
When I want my children to do something, I start doing it myself and verbally point out how responsible I am being. My children become aware that I am doing something worthy of attention. They then want some of that same praise for themselves and start following my examples.
I praise their efforts and give them extra attention because of their great behavior. You’d be amazed at the kid’s motivation it creates.
Music is a POWERFUL motivator – for kids and adults alike. If you have ever gone to a movie and felt like crying because a dog died or felt great fear because a shark MIGHT be in the water, then you have experienced the powerful impact that music can have on your emotions.
If you saw the same scenes without the carefully chosen music, you might find that you feel bored watching the show.
Music not only instantly motivates our bodies to be completely filled with the emotion that it is portraying but it also makes us completely aware of the passage of time without having to look at a clock. When you become aware that time is moving on, the feeling of needing to make every second count becomes AUTOMATIC.
The music selections on the Children’s Miracle Music game have been carefully and strategically chosen after years of research. The motivation that kids get is to FEEL LIKE doing their tasks. And part of the game is to be rewarded — with points that count towards their goals.
Sage, who is 8 years old says proudly: “the music makes me do it.” She’s right of course — music makes us do so many things.
I bet you didn’t know that there was music that could help your kids to FEEL LIKE doing the dishes — or cleaning the toilet! There is. My research – as a mom and a keen observer of kids’ motivation has determined the exact LENGTH OF TIME that each task could be accomplished in. Then both of these motivators are combined into the most effective motivational sequence.
The result is that kids chores can now be fun every time. All the kids housekeeping gets done, quickly and easily – with NO nagging.
There’s lot’s more to say about music and kids motivation. Music has become a joyful part of our family life. I am sure it can be for you too. I’d love to hear your questions and comments about how music motivates you and your kids.
Football is a game that millions of people spend millions of dollars watching each year. They will sit though rain, snow and freezing weather to watch the game they love.
The players of the game love it so much that they are willing to suffer broken bones and have life long injuries from playing it. Many men would rather go out in the cold muddy field and play football after work than sit in a comfortable, warm office building.
So what makes this game so desirable that millions would give up their comforts, money, time and energies to play it?
The answer is – it’s a GAME. It has points, strategies, goals, deadlines, rewards and a way to “win”. Self-esteem is built because a job is well done and is being noticed.
What if these components that turn football into a game were taken away? Would anyone WANT to “play” or watch football? The answer would be “no”. The points, the goals and the score-board are what motivate players and spectators to be fully engaged in the game.
Any hard task can become a game worth playing. If you add points, goals, rewards, deadlines and strategies, ALL tasks can be fun and motivating. Self-esteem grows from the recognition of a job well done.
When viewed in these circumstances the focus shifts from the drudgery of the task to the strategy of the game and how to get to the “goal”.
We all need to accomplish the same tasks to take care of our bodies and surroundings — every morning and evening for THE REST OF OUR LIVES. Putting them into a fun game to make them motivational makes perfect sense — and they aren’t nearly as hard as football!kidshousekeeping.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/img-3923.jpg" border="0" alt="Kids Chores" hspace="4" vspace="4" width="220" height="165" align="right" />
You can turn kids housekeeping into a game that is fun to play – with all the same elements that make football so compelling. Make the score-board into a rewards chart (unlike so many chore charts which are burdensome ‘to-do’ lists). And create goals worth playing for. The ideal goal for kids is a private date with either mom or dad – a special one on one time to look forward to.
When there is a limited amount of time to accomplish a task, one tends to hurry to get it done. That is why when you want something done, you should give it to a busy person.
For example, if you know that you have a book report due at 10:00am tomorrow morning (a limited amount of time) you will probably work on it until it is finished even if it takes all night. If you do not have a deadline for finishing your book report, it may take you weeks or months to do what could be accomplished in one evening.
The same is true for children. If they feel like they have all day to make their bed, they will probably take all day to do it. Giving them a specific amount of time (2 minutes) to accomplish the task enables them to do it quickly, which frees up the rest of their day to do other things.
This is the principle that has been designed into Children’s Miracle Music after 15 years of research. Both morning and evening kids chores are set to specific timed music tracks on a CD.
The limited amount of time can also be a fun kids motivator — as ‘beating the clock’ becomes the game. Since a brain can only think of one thing at a time and the focus is now on seeing if you can finish the task before the set time frame INSTEAD of focusing on the task (eg cleaning the toilet), the time spent is like a game. And games are fun.
The practice of defining expectations for your children and making lists of the tasks that need to be done for each room in your home frees up a mother’s time and energies so she can focus her time on important matters like training her children to be responsible, loving and successful adults.
There’s many tasks that need to get done in a home – and unless there is an effective system in place, parents find themselves doing what could otherwise be set up as ‘kids chores’. To divide up the kids chores, write down all of the rooms in your house and then add “dishes” and “laundry” to your list. Some people call this a chore chart.
Have every family member choose two “rooms” on the list. Let them know they will be doing a fast “ten minute clean up” in those two rooms each day. One room will be done in the morning and the other one in the evening.
Let them know you will post exactly what needs to be done and when it needs to be done on a list in each of the rooms. Let them know how grateful you are for each of them doing their part to take care of their home. I always remind my children that “you only get to keep what you take care of”.
When a family member feels responsible for a certain room, a mother doesn’t have to be a ‘broken record’ any more, having to say things over and over. Getting the kid’s chores done now becomes a game and is part of the family fun.
It took many years of research and testing to createChildren’s Miracle Music– but this is now the easiest way to ensure that all the kids chores are done on time – and without any nagging!
For example: my eight-year-old son Tommy was responsible for keeping our ‘dressing room’ clean. He knew that every night he would be hanging up any clothes that were left on the floor. Because it was completely clear that this was HIS responsibility, HE was the one asking our younger girls to make sure and pick up their clothes after they changed.
The same thing happened with my six-year-old daughter Faith. She knew that it as her responsibility to take care of our ‘gathering room’ every night for ten minutes. Because of this, she would frequently ask family members to pick up things before they left the room.
I was no longer a dictator, taskmaster, or nagging mother. I had provided a system for our home organization where we could all do our part and everyone knew exactly what their ‘part’ was. If I helped my daughter pick up the things in her ‘gathering room’ she would thank ME instead of the other way round. This is a GREAT kids motivation tool.
Many times mothers feel overwhelmed because their mind is full of a long list of “to do’s”, as they look around their home and feel that THEY have to do it all. This is NOT a mother’s job. A mother should look at herself as a manager of a small group of people – her children, and the building that houses them.
Being a manager means that you are responsible for making schedules, dividing up tasks, making the functions of the group run smoothly. This includes uplifting and praising your small group (your children), finding the motivational keys or tools and helping your group develop positive routines and habits.
One way to be a manager of the cleaning part of a home is to make a list of exactly what needs to be done in a room to maintain it. This is more than simply a chore chart. Write the person who is responsible for caring for that room at the top of the list and the time of day that he or she is expected to take care of it.
As part of your home organization, there should be one 10 minute room cleanup every morning and a different one every evening. Post the list in each room so that expectations are clearly DEFINED and can be easily fulfilled.
So often chore charts just create a list of things to do – so that when they are done they need to be inspected or approved by mom or dad. This inadvertently is a ‘set-up’ where the parent continues in the role of a task-master where she or he “inspects”, “takes away privileges”, has to continue to nag and remind the children to do each of their chores.
I get passionate about this subject – and the need for a different approach. Here is an example of some happy kids engaged in sharing their chores charts. I applaud the creativity that this family demonstrates, but I also have a caution about the approach that this mother uses in this video…
The actual functioning of what the mother has set up here would be a real challenge to continue to enforce. Also, she called the tasks “chores” which in and of itself tells the child that there is something that their mother is making them do. (whilst I do use the term ‘chores’ in this blog, I prefer to use the term ‘task’ with my family.) The only real motivational strategies that are set up for the children to actually DO their “chores” are:
That they will lose a privilege if they don’t do them (negative)
That the mother will probably need to nag if they don’t do them (negative)
So what is a positive alternative? I recommend all parents take on the role of TRAINER so that the children learn how to do the “chores” in such a way that they can be self-governed. This may be a little more work to begin with – but very soon the parents can get on with other more important aspects of their roles. Rewards charts are a whole different way to motivate kids. In the Children’s Miracle Music game children learn how to achieve goals – by earning points that are marked on the rewards chart. There is lot’s more to this – and I’ll be happy to share about that here soon.
The most effective way to get kids chores done is to set them to a specific sequence of timed music tracks. Music instantly motivates our bodies to be filled with the emotion that the music portrays. The music invokes an awareness of the passage of time without having to look at a clock. This is the basis of Children’s Miracle Music - setting perfectly timed music tracks to match the tasks that need to be done.
What is your approach to motivating kids to do their chores? Please leave a comment.
Welcome To A New World – Where Kids Do The Housework
Hi, I'm Christine Mullins, the proud mother of seven children. Over the years I've experienced all the joys, struggles, mistakes and successes that go with that role.
I've dealt with the challenge that every parent faces: how to get your children to do their chores, get themselves ready for the day on time, and get to bed on time in the evening.
After years of trial and error, plus extensive research and testing, Children's Miracle Music was born.
I'm passionate to help parents succeed in bringing up confident, healthy and happy children.
This blog is about my journey -- to share the inside story on children's motivation, home organization, family fun and harmony ...and lots more too. I hope you will join the conversation with comments and questions - here on this blog and on my Website.
Naturally we would love to get up and do the easiest thing first which is to eat breakfast but the problem with this is that YOU will then need to help be the motivator in getting all of the other points done. The idea behind the game is to release you from having to be the motivator so that you can have the profession of being a TRAINER instead.
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