I was fortunate to be able to share the story about Children’s Miracle Music here on the local ABC TV channel. So now it is good to build the buzz about how kids chores can be a fun part of family activities.
I guess I am not surprised now that other folks are amazed that kids housekeeping really can get done automatically - with NO nagging!
Do let me know your questions and thoughts about getting the kids chores done in your family - in the comments section below.
All my best,
Christine
Kendra asked a great question that many other parents have too:
“My children tend to “dream big” and are wanting to pick costly dates. How have you helped to set the expectation that a date could be going to Home Depot with dad and getting a treat?”
Well, I’m glad you asked about the dates. You can gain the most amazing benefit from playing the Children’s Miracle Music game by going on the right kind of “Private Dates”. These dates should only be spaces of time where all attention can be given to each other regardless of the place or function of the date. For instance, a “movie” date is out since the attention is given to the movie screen. A date where a child just comes along with his parent who has his focus on the errand he is running is out. One of my favorite “Private Date” memories happened when my daughter and I weren’t able to go on the date she had set for her “Goal” and we ended up at the only place that was open. It was Smith’s grocery store. We bought an ice cream cone and walked around the store with no other agenda than to laugh with each other. We played with the stuffed animals and made them talk as we laughed uncontrollably and ended up swinging on the porch swing that was set up inside the store. This was about seven years ago. My daughter is all grown now and has moved out of the house. I don’t remember what we talked about that day but I do remember the feeling of closeness that we gained - and so does she. We were gone for only about an hour and spent about $1.50.
Another one of my favorite dates was with my son. We didn’t have time or money to go out with all seven children every two weeks so we let them choose an “out of home” date once a month. The other dates were “in home” ones. This date was an “in home” date. I put a sock in the door to lock the other kids out of my son’s room and then put a large blanket on the floor. We played swap and ate treats while we talked and laughed together. Even though we didn’t ‘go’ anywhere, the same closeness was gained because we followed the rule to only focus on each other without interruption or secondary agenda. These kinds of dates build the forever emotionally close relationships that we have families for in the first place. I hope these examples help. We will be posting more great “Private Date” ideas soon and would love to hear first-hand from you about some of the best private dates you have had with your children.
Please leave comments and questions here in the blog comment section. (Click the link at the bottom of the post.)
All My Best,
Christine
I wanted to share my thoughts in response to Rebecca from Michigan, who asked me this question:
“I have to 10 year old son and 6 year old son. I think my 6 year old will love it, but will it help motivate my 10 year old?”
The other morning I slept in because I was up at night with my little ones. So I didn’t start the Childrens Miracle Music game when I usually do. My little six year old, Faith came into my room and whispered in my ear that she and her brother Tommy (age had made their beds and were now doing their “Act of Kindness“. Tommy was downstairs making breakfast for the family and Faith was cleaning the bathroom. They were finished in ten minutes—the amount of time that they would need if the music had been on. Teenagers may roll their eyes at doing your system but I just tell my children (ages 1,3,6,8,13,15 and 19) that it is my job to find a system that supports our family to have me as their TRAINER – and not their slave. This is the system I have chosen.
Oftentimes, I ask them if they prefer me to yell, spank or ground them instead of playing the fun musical game to get their points done. They always choose the game for the system. The Children’s Miracle Music game does not make you the motivator anymore. You know WHEN to expect WHOM to clean WHAT each day without motivating them.
To TRAIN your children, put your hand on their hand and do it with them until they can do it for themselves. Also, one game rule is “Thumbs up rule.” You only use words about what you see when someone does something that is GOOD. This goes for husbands as well! Don’t say a word when you are tempted to say something that someone is NOT doing.
I would highly encourage getting the Children’s Miracle Music game ESPECIALLY for your ten year old because you only have eight years left to TRAIN him how to have these essential life skills. Thanks Rebecca for asking. I always like questions and comments right here on the blog.
Whatever gets attention will get repeated.
You can also TRAIN by letting them have natural consequences. One day the “Dishes” “Act of Kindness” didn’t get done. I didn’t say one word about it. When dinner came around I just washed the table and served dinner without the plates. That point got done the next day. I do think that your children should learn these skills and habits so that they can become responsible, self-governed, skilled adults.
Erin, a mother to her three and a half year old asked a great question:
“Once you turn on the music, do you need to participate and do your OWN chores/responsibilities at the same time to set an example?”
The Children’s Miracle Music game is for the whole family – including Mom and Dad. In the game, each family member chooses where they would like to go on a private date with either their mom or dad. Write the dates on the “Goal” section of the “Points Chart”. Let them know that they need 100 points to reach their goal and go on their date. I always put “Dad” and then “Mom” at the top of the chart for everyone to understand that we all need to do our part in home chores. But the ‘real goal’ is to train our children to have the HABIT, SKILL and DESIRE to quickly and happily take care of each home area, as well as themselves. This ‘real goal’ needs to be achieved before they turn 18 and leave their parents’ home, so that they can then achieve this without exterior motivation.
The game is a miraculous tool that instantly TRAINS your children to become responsible and self-governed adults. In playing the game, write down every area (room) of the house and then add “Laundry”, “Dishes” and “Breakfast” to the list. Pair family members into team-mates. One that is older with one that is younger. (Yes parents can be team mates too.) Each team (two family members) chooses two points (tasks) from your list. One for the morning “Act of Kindness” and one for the evening “Act of Kindness”. You leave them on the same “Act of Kindness” until they become a PRO at doing it. It could take years (depending on their age) but it becomes a life-long skill once learned.
Here’s a recent example from our family: The other day my husband needed some extra work clothes washed. I was really busy so I said to my THREE year old daughter,
“Go and show daddy how to do the laundry. OK?”
She is almost completely a PRO at the laundry because we, as team-mates, have been practicing doing this ‘kids chore’ for three years now (since she was born). When she can do the laundry completely, I will switch her to a new area of the house to become skilled at taking care of another ‘kids chore’ - or ‘act of kindness’ as we call them in the game. I strongly suggest getting the whole family involved with Children’s Miracle Music game. It is just as much about freedom and responsibility for children AND parents.
Jennifer asked a great question in the comment section for my post about Sequence and System. Since this comes up for many parents I thought it was worth writing a special post about it…
I’m so glad to hear that Jennifer will be starting her 21-month-old little boy on the Children’s Miracle Music game. I start my children when they are born so that they can learn the SKILLS, HABIT and DESIRE to become self-reliant and responsible right from the start. I have a 21 month old also. Her name is Grace. She and my three year old, Angel, share a room. So, when the morning music starts I put my hand on Angel’s hand and, with Grace watching on from her crib, train her how to do one small thing to learn how to make her bed better. Right now she is learning how to lay her cuddle blanket flat on the floor and then match up the corners as she folds it. She then places it at the bottom of her bed. This is a very simple ‘kids chore’ for her to learn.
When I get over to Grace, she knows, by having watched my example, that she is supposed to be making her bed and she hands me her blanket. I then put my hand on her hand and help her to fold her blanket also. Since they practice this task every day, they are becoming good at making their beds and folding their blankies. They are now part of the kids housekeeping routine. I change Graces diaper during the “Use the Bathroom” music and when the “Act of Kindness” (my term for kids chores) music comes on she knows to run to the dryer and empty the lint screen. She then starts handing the dry clothes from the dryer to Angel to hang up. (Angel has been practicing doing the laundry every day for three years and can almost completely do our families laundry by herself. Yes she is only 3!) Grace knows how to do these things because I have put my hand on her hand and done these things WITH her so many times that she now knows to do some of the laundry and bed making on her own.
Every person, no matter what their age, needs to do these eight morning points and four evening points so that they can have the HABIT, SKILLS and DESIRE to get their necessary things done quickly and happily each day. They then have the rest of their day left over so that they can do what’s important like serve others instead of just themselves. Our family relationships have completely changed with the use of Children’s Miracle Music– it can be part of your lifestyle too, and make a huge difference to you as a parent. Your career shifts from being a motivator and family support person – to Trainer and Cheerleader.
Please make a comment or ask questions in the comment section of the blog posts – I would be happy to expand on any of these points. It is great to hear from Children’s Miracle Music families! Also - please send in your photos and we will post them on the blog.
Kendra has another question that everyone can learn from…
“Have you thought about offering a customizable CD in your shopping cart where people could choose the duty, choose the songs, the amount of songs, and the order?”
I understand where you are coming from – and there is an important reason why the answer is NO!. Because, if we did you wouldn’t see the same miraculous results that you do from the in-depth research behind the ‘press-of-a-button’ results that you now experience with Children’s Miracle Music. I recognize that every mom has their own idea about how they want their mornings and evenings to run. I have to tell you though, after years of testing in many different families’ homes we came to the conclusion that there was only one routine that was the most motivational in getting your kids housekeeping accomplished each day. Let me explain…
Naturally we would love to get up and do the easiest thing first which is to eat breakfast but the problem with this is that YOU will then need to help be the motivator in getting all of the other points done. The idea behind the game is to release you from having to be the motivator so that you can have the profession of being a TRAINER instead.
The music that is used on the game also has great research behind it. It needed to be a specific amount of time so that family members would feel that they need to hurry but still have enough time to accomplish the point (task). The music also needed to be selections that where highly motivational and specific to that point’s ‘beat’ in order to instantly change the atmosphere of the home into active participation.
Another breakthrough came to us when choosing the specific music for the Children’s Miracle Music game. This came when we had to find selections which could be recognizable – so that family members could hear it and, having heard it before, know how much time they have to do their point. It also had to be music which they would not get tired of. We accomplished this by sorting through thousands of tracks of music which do not have words to them. Words are what make you tired of listening to a song.
We did, however, choose a song that does have words for the last selection before you go out the door for the day so that you can keep singing it and be uplifted by it all day long. We found that even if you don’t like the last song you heard in the car before you turn it off, it’s easy to get it stuck in your head for the rest of the day! Since the words to the last song that you hear on the game are, “I am so happy. It is a lovely day…” family members are giving subliminal messages to themselves as they continue to sing it and automatically have a better day because of it.
There is lot’s to explore with Children’s Miracle Music – and I’m just getting going with what I call the Six Pillars of Strength - a full suite of tools and programs that give practical application to the core principles inherent within this game. I warmly encourage you to expand your own skills to train and cheerlead your family so that more miracles keep occurring.
Do leave me questions and comments in the comment section below each post. I would love to hear from you.
Say the word “chores” and your kids will probably find ways to avoid them — maybe even make up a lot of excuses. But it does not necessarily mean that a kid’s chore should be counted as “work.” Kids can often tend to view this work as boring, tedious and no fun, all of which are IMPOSED on them by parents. Kids’ chores can also mean an ongoing feud between parents and kids.
So what’s the bright side? Kids’ chores need not be boring. Having fun is one essential component to getting kids to do the tasks without telling them to. The real job of a Mom is to be the trainer and the cheer-leader.
But how would busy parents be able to make their children “work” without forcing them to? Once a child truly understands their role in the family – to be an active, responsible participant in their own home and family life, everything becomes easier. So this is what the parents need to impart. The ‘self-government trainer’ is a far more important role to fulfill. This gets the kids housekeeping done – and helps a child to grow up being empowered and an active participant in creating the life they want.
Kids’ chores can only be successfully done if there is motivation, understanding and a sense of working towards goals that they can actually look forward to. Kids’ charts or more specifically kids’ chore charts can be useful for kids housekeeping, but more importantly a Points Chart will provide the guide and the clarity of moving toward the chosen goals.
You have to tell them what the chart is for – earning points based on doing the chores (the ‘acts of kindness’). You can also guide them to set meaningful goals.
Quality time is very important in keeping the family together. But oftentimes, most parents find it hard to cherish and experience precious moments with their children. The heavy demands of work coupled with stress and pressure seem to prevent family members from enjoying the company of each other. What most parents fail to notice is that they can connect with their children through every day activities as simple as housekeeping.
Kids housekeeping does not need to be a dreaded chore for parents or children. Kids housekeeping can be enjoyable and fun if you apply the right approach. It’s an opportunity for kids and parents to show their love and care while having fun at home. My approach is to make it all a game – and to use the Children’s Miracle Musicto set the pace, the tasks and the sequence. Each chore is an ‘act of kindness’. Children are responsible for different rooms in the home, and become active participants in maintaining the whole home environment. This is way better than nagging!
Housekeeping for children is a time for parents and siblings to show support to each other. And for each of the chores completed – using the Children’s Miracle Music game, everyone earns points towards their goals. The most important goals for children to achieve are private dates – where they can spend quality time with either Mom or Dad. This is a time when emotional bonds can grow and richer relationships unfold.
Here is another suggestion for South Georgia Peach (see my last post here). Your quest to enjoy motherhood, to handle the kids housekeepingand not have to nag about the kids chores is a valiant one.
I suggest the “positive only” approach as an important key to having a great impact for good in your home. If you take on this approach you will start to LIKE being a mom again - and your family will also experience the difference.
Children want our attention desperately. Whatever you give them attention for is what they will subconsciously want to do again. So, if I were you I would choose to only give them attention for the GOOD things that are being done and ZERO attention for the negative ones. When your son hid the towels I got the feeling from your words that he received lots of negative attention. When your children play theChildren’s Miracle Music game, the same rule applies. So when you see that the kids housekeeping is being done give your children LOADS of exaggerated praise.
This approach works very well with husbands as well J! Everyone likes others to see the good things they do. When I started using this new way of thinking, my teenage boy learned from my example and started thanking ME for doing my “Acts of Kindness” for him. He also took the time to put a star sticker on my hand (part of the Children’s Miracle Music game) and tell me what a great mom I was each morning. It seems like such a small thing to do but I have to say that he made my day when he said those few little words to me. You can imagine how a child would feel.
Playing the Children’s Miracle Music game also trains children how to love and serve others if you let them know the real reason that they are taking care of their areas. If your “Act of Kindness” (one of the points on the game) is to clean the bathroom which includes the toilet then you can remind your children that you are cleaning the toilet because you love them and want them to have a spotless place to sit. When they do any kind of an act of kindness, point out that they must love YOU for doing such a kind thing to make the place you live in so clean.
All the best with a breakthrough for you and your kids chores.
Here is a mother with a challenge… I am sure she is not alone.
She is burdened by the housekeeping and, neither her kids nor her husband are helping with the chores. Sound familiar? Her ideas — in this YouTube video is to take away privileges, money, and even possessions as a way to solve this. Clearly it’s not working. Watch the video below and then my suggestions below. Getting kids chores done and having kids housekeeping be fun is possible…
Dear “North Georgia Peach”,
I’m so glad that you took the time to post your question. After more than fifteen years of research on how to get kids chores done I can show you an easier way.
The idea is to make chores fun – and to train your kids (and husband too!) how to do that. The Children’s Miracle Music game instantly and automatically changes what you might call “chores” into what children see as fun tasks to do. To you, the game becomes a miraculous parenting tool which you can use to train your family on how to be skilled at and have the desire to do their chores WITHOUT you having to nag them. I know! It’s a MIRACLE! You said in your video… “that your children are only expected to do about ten minutes of work each day.”
CHALLENGE - if a chore should only take ten minutes, but you have not designated WHICH ten minutes, then you will probably have to wait for a very long time for your children to decide which ten minutes!
SOLUTION - The Children’s Miracle Music game uses music as a timing mechanism to let your kids know EXACTLY which ten minutes!
I don’t believe that it is wrong for you to expect certain things to be done by each family member every day. Your family members shouldn’t be thinking that the chores they do are to help YOU with YOUR work. The Children’s Miracle Music game automatically transfers exact responsibilities of chores to each person. Now you are able to ask THEM if they would like help learning how to care for THEIR areas.
There’s lot’s more ideas here on how to liberate yourself and your family – to have a happy and fun home atmosphere – where all the chores get done effortlessly. I would love to tell you a thousand more ideas about this. I’ll be writing more on this blog of the life changing research that I’ve found to work for my family and thousands of other families.
Please join the conversation here with questions and comments.
Welcome To A New World – Where Kids Do The Housework
Hi, I'm Christine Mullins, the proud mother of seven children. Over the years I've experienced all the joys, struggles, mistakes and successes that go with that role.
I've dealt with the challenge that every parent faces: how to get your children to do their chores, get themselves ready for the day on time, and get to bed on time in the evening.
After years of trial and error, plus extensive research and testing, Children's Miracle Music was born.
I'm passionate to help parents succeed in bringing up confident, healthy and happy children.
This blog is about my journey -- to share the inside story on children's motivation, home organization, family fun and harmony ...and lots more too. I hope you will join the conversation with comments and questions - here on this blog and on my Website.
had made their beds and were now doing their “
Write the dates on the “Goal” section of the “Points Chart”. Let them know that they need 100 points to reach their goal and go on their date. I always put “Dad” and then “Mom” at the top of the chart for everyone to understand that we all need to do our part in home chores. But the ‘real goal’ is to train our children to have the HABIT, SKILL and DESIRE to quickly and happily take care of each home area, as well as themselves. This ‘real goal’ needs to be achieved before they turn 18 and leave their parents’ home, so that they can then achieve this without exterior motivation.
She then starts handing the dry clothes from the dryer to Angel to hang up. (Angel has been practicing doing the laundry every day for three years and can almost completely do our families laundry by herself. Yes she is only 3!) Grace knows how to do these things because I have put my hand on her hand and done these things WITH her so many times that she now knows to do some of the laundry and bed making on her own.
Also - please send in your photos and we will post them on the blog.
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