I was fortunate to be able to share the story about Children’s Miracle Music here on the local ABC TV channel. So now it is good to build the buzz about how kids chores can be a fun part of family activities.
I guess I am not surprised now that other folks are amazed that kids housekeeping really can get done automatically - with NO nagging!
Do let me know your questions and thoughts about getting the kids chores done in your family - in the comments section below.
All my best,
Christine
Kendra asked a great question that many other parents have too:
“My children tend to “dream big” and are wanting to pick costly dates. How have you helped to set the expectation that a date could be going to Home Depot with dad and getting a treat?”
Well, I’m glad you asked about the dates. You can gain the most amazing benefit from playing the Children’s Miracle Music game by going on the right kind of “Private Dates”. These dates should only be spaces of time where all attention can be given to each other regardless of the place or function of the date. For instance, a “movie” date is out since the attention is given to the movie screen. A date where a child just comes along with his parent who has his focus on the errand he is running is out. One of my favorite “Private Date” memories happened when my daughter and I weren’t able to go on the date she had set for her “Goal” and we ended up at the only place that was open. It was Smith’s grocery store. We bought an ice cream cone and walked around the store with no other agenda than to laugh with each other. We played with the stuffed animals and made them talk as we laughed uncontrollably and ended up swinging on the porch swing that was set up inside the store. This was about seven years ago. My daughter is all grown now and has moved out of the house. I don’t remember what we talked about that day but I do remember the feeling of closeness that we gained - and so does she. We were gone for only about an hour and spent about $1.50.
Another one of my favorite dates was with my son. We didn’t have time or money to go out with all seven children every two weeks so we let them choose an “out of home” date once a month. The other dates were “in home” ones. This date was an “in home” date. I put a sock in the door to lock the other kids out of my son’s room and then put a large blanket on the floor. We played swap and ate treats while we talked and laughed together. Even though we didn’t ‘go’ anywhere, the same closeness was gained because we followed the rule to only focus on each other without interruption or secondary agenda. These kinds of dates build the forever emotionally close relationships that we have families for in the first place. I hope these examples help. We will be posting more great “Private Date” ideas soon and would love to hear first-hand from you about some of the best private dates you have had with your children.
Please leave comments and questions here in the blog comment section. (Click the link at the bottom of the post.)
All My Best,
Christine
I received a question in my email that I thought would be good to share here on my blog. In Marie’s email she said:
“I was thinking of ordering this program for my two special needs children a boy and a girl. Do I need more than the 2 CD’s that come with the program? Since they are in different rooms and the music plays in CD’s wasn’t sure how that would work with 2 children.”
Below is my response to Marie, hopefully you will find it helpful as well.
The way the game works is that you play it with your whole family at the same time. Children seem to learn best by doing what their parent’s do side by side. In this way they can learn to be skilled in taking care of each area of the home. The game directions say to team up with a family member that does not know how to do their “points” yet with one who does – until they become good at it. After they learn how to do their kids housekeeping for one area of the house well, you can switch them to another area to learn how to do it. The training may take 6 months or more before they become good at what they are doing. It’s kind of like learning to play the piano. You wouldn’t want to switch them to the violin until they have practiced and become good at the piano. Taking your children to a janitorial supply store to better learn how to clean the bathroom is one idea on how to help them build self-esteem in doing a task which they will need to know how to do throughout their lives.
The way that you play the game as a family is to turn up the music in a central location so that it can be heard throughout the home. The music filling the air motivates ALL of the family members to run and get their points. If the children see that “we all” are doing our part to care for the home then they grow up SEEING that all family members, young and old take care of their surroundings. This trains them how to be a responsible adult LIKE THEIR PARENT’S are.
I just received an email from another lady who has used the Children’s Miracle Music game for over two years now with her own “special needs” child. She said that she was at the end of her rope before she ordered the game and playing it together with her family has truly been a miraculous transformation in their home.
If your home is too large to hear the game throughout it, you can always get a couple of cordless speakers and place them in key areas. I haven’t found that there are any homes, so far, which need these cordless speakers though. Turning the volume up for all to hear has been working in thousands of homes.
Please share your questions and stories in the comments for this post.
Your kids’ chores do not need to take time away from your kids studying and getting immersed in various homeschooling activities. The Children’s Miracle Music game is PERFECT for home-schooling! The Children’s Miracle Music game is set up to guide the kids into following schedules that do not intrude into the homeschooling activities that require more of the children’s attention.
I also home-school, and using the Children’s Miracle Music game actually made a lot of things EASIER for me. It is focused on helping children to become self-reliant, and also enable them to take care of themselves and their surroundings. Kids’ chores do not have to be a hassle anymore! The Children’s Miracle Music game focuses on getting your kids used to their chores and working on them without having to be told to do so again and again. The game itself teaches your children an order for their chores, as the chores themselves are set at different times, which lets them get into the “flow” of things. Once they are made aware of their schedules through music, your kids will not need prodding from you to go ahead and do their share of responsibilities so you can STOP being the moderator and start being a TRAINER!
Kids get into doing their chores because the Children’s Miracle Music actually HELPS them through each task, making sure that they learn all about their chores and guides them through each one. It teaches them to become a PRO with each new chore that they practice, and also helps them to learn new chores. I highly recommend using Children’s Miracle Music game as a complement to your homeschooling activities, because it makes learning FAST and FUN!
I wanted to share my thoughts in response to Rebecca from Michigan, who asked me this question:
“I have to 10 year old son and 6 year old son. I think my 6 year old will love it, but will it help motivate my 10 year old?”
The other morning I slept in because I was up at night with my little ones. So I didn’t start the Childrens Miracle Music game when I usually do. My little six year old, Faith came into my room and whispered in my ear that she and her brother Tommy (age had made their beds and were now doing their “Act of Kindness“. Tommy was downstairs making breakfast for the family and Faith was cleaning the bathroom. They were finished in ten minutes—the amount of time that they would need if the music had been on. Teenagers may roll their eyes at doing your system but I just tell my children (ages 1,3,6,8,13,15 and 19) that it is my job to find a system that supports our family to have me as their TRAINER – and not their slave. This is the system I have chosen.
Oftentimes, I ask them if they prefer me to yell, spank or ground them instead of playing the fun musical game to get their points done. They always choose the game for the system. The Children’s Miracle Music game does not make you the motivator anymore. You know WHEN to expect WHOM to clean WHAT each day without motivating them.
To TRAIN your children, put your hand on their hand and do it with them until they can do it for themselves. Also, one game rule is “Thumbs up rule.” You only use words about what you see when someone does something that is GOOD. This goes for husbands as well! Don’t say a word when you are tempted to say something that someone is NOT doing.
I would highly encourage getting the Children’s Miracle Music game ESPECIALLY for your ten year old because you only have eight years left to TRAIN him how to have these essential life skills. Thanks Rebecca for asking. I always like questions and comments right here on the blog.
Whatever gets attention will get repeated.
You can also TRAIN by letting them have natural consequences. One day the “Dishes” “Act of Kindness” didn’t get done. I didn’t say one word about it. When dinner came around I just washed the table and served dinner without the plates. That point got done the next day. I do think that your children should learn these skills and habits so that they can become responsible, self-governed, skilled adults.
Erin, a mother to her three and a half year old asked a great question:
“Once you turn on the music, do you need to participate and do your OWN chores/responsibilities at the same time to set an example?”
The Children’s Miracle Music game is for the whole family – including Mom and Dad. In the game, each family member chooses where they would like to go on a private date with either their mom or dad. Write the dates on the “Goal” section of the “Points Chart”. Let them know that they need 100 points to reach their goal and go on their date. I always put “Dad” and then “Mom” at the top of the chart for everyone to understand that we all need to do our part in home chores. But the ‘real goal’ is to train our children to have the HABIT, SKILL and DESIRE to quickly and happily take care of each home area, as well as themselves. This ‘real goal’ needs to be achieved before they turn 18 and leave their parents’ home, so that they can then achieve this without exterior motivation.
The game is a miraculous tool that instantly TRAINS your children to become responsible and self-governed adults. In playing the game, write down every area (room) of the house and then add “Laundry”, “Dishes” and “Breakfast” to the list. Pair family members into team-mates. One that is older with one that is younger. (Yes parents can be team mates too.) Each team (two family members) chooses two points (tasks) from your list. One for the morning “Act of Kindness” and one for the evening “Act of Kindness”. You leave them on the same “Act of Kindness” until they become a PRO at doing it. It could take years (depending on their age) but it becomes a life-long skill once learned.
Here’s a recent example from our family: The other day my husband needed some extra work clothes washed. I was really busy so I said to my THREE year old daughter,
“Go and show daddy how to do the laundry. OK?”
She is almost completely a PRO at the laundry because we, as team-mates, have been practicing doing this ‘kids chore’ for three years now (since she was born). When she can do the laundry completely, I will switch her to a new area of the house to become skilled at taking care of another ‘kids chore’ - or ‘act of kindness’ as we call them in the game. I strongly suggest getting the whole family involved with Children’s Miracle Music game. It is just as much about freedom and responsibility for children AND parents.
Jennifer asked a great question in the comment section for my post about Sequence and System. Since this comes up for many parents I thought it was worth writing a special post about it…
I’m so glad to hear that Jennifer will be starting her 21-month-old little boy on the Children’s Miracle Music game. I start my children when they are born so that they can learn the SKILLS, HABIT and DESIRE to become self-reliant and responsible right from the start. I have a 21 month old also. Her name is Grace. She and my three year old, Angel, share a room. So, when the morning music starts I put my hand on Angel’s hand and, with Grace watching on from her crib, train her how to do one small thing to learn how to make her bed better. Right now she is learning how to lay her cuddle blanket flat on the floor and then match up the corners as she folds it. She then places it at the bottom of her bed. This is a very simple ‘kids chore’ for her to learn.
When I get over to Grace, she knows, by having watched my example, that she is supposed to be making her bed and she hands me her blanket. I then put my hand on her hand and help her to fold her blanket also. Since they practice this task every day, they are becoming good at making their beds and folding their blankies. They are now part of the kids housekeeping routine. I change Graces diaper during the “Use the Bathroom” music and when the “Act of Kindness” (my term for kids chores) music comes on she knows to run to the dryer and empty the lint screen. She then starts handing the dry clothes from the dryer to Angel to hang up. (Angel has been practicing doing the laundry every day for three years and can almost completely do our families laundry by herself. Yes she is only 3!) Grace knows how to do these things because I have put my hand on her hand and done these things WITH her so many times that she now knows to do some of the laundry and bed making on her own.
Every person, no matter what their age, needs to do these eight morning points and four evening points so that they can have the HABIT, SKILLS and DESIRE to get their necessary things done quickly and happily each day. They then have the rest of their day left over so that they can do what’s important like serve others instead of just themselves. Our family relationships have completely changed with the use of Children’s Miracle Music– it can be part of your lifestyle too, and make a huge difference to you as a parent. Your career shifts from being a motivator and family support person – to Trainer and Cheerleader.
Please make a comment or ask questions in the comment section of the blog posts – I would be happy to expand on any of these points. It is great to hear from Children’s Miracle Music families! Also - please send in your photos and we will post them on the blog.
Music is a POWERFUL motivator – for kids and adults alike. If you have ever gone to a movie and felt like crying because a dog died or felt great fear because a shark MIGHT be in the water, then you have experienced the powerful impact that music can have on your emotions.
If you saw the same scenes without the carefully chosen music, you might find that you feel bored watching the show.
Music not only instantly motivates our bodies to be completely filled with the emotion that it is portraying but it also makes us completely aware of the passage of time without having to look at a clock. When you become aware that time is moving on, the feeling of needing to make every second count becomes AUTOMATIC.
The music selections on the Children’s Miracle Music game have been carefully and strategically chosen after years of research. The motivation that kids get is to FEEL LIKE doing their tasks. And part of the game is to be rewarded — with points that count towards their goals.
Sage, who is 8 years old says proudly: “the music makes me do it.” She’s right of course — music makes us do so many things.
I bet you didn’t know that there was music that could help your kids to FEEL LIKE doing the dishes — or cleaning the toilet! There is. My research – as a mom and a keen observer of kids’ motivation has determined the exact LENGTH OF TIME that each task could be accomplished in. Then both of these motivators are combined into the most effective motivational sequence.
The result is that kids chores can now be fun every time. All the kids housekeeping gets done, quickly and easily – with NO nagging.
There’s lot’s more to say about music and kids motivation. Music has become a joyful part of our family life. I am sure it can be for you too. I’d love to hear your questions and comments about how music motivates you and your kids.
When there is a limited amount of time to accomplish a task, one tends to hurry to get it done. That is why when you want something done, you should give it to a busy person.
For example, if you know that you have a book report due at 10:00am tomorrow morning (a limited amount of time) you will probably work on it until it is finished even if it takes all night. If you do not have a deadline for finishing your book report, it may take you weeks or months to do what could be accomplished in one evening.
The same is true for children. If they feel like they have all day to make their bed, they will probably take all day to do it. Giving them a specific amount of time (2 minutes) to accomplish the task enables them to do it quickly, which frees up the rest of their day to do other things.
This is the principle that has been designed into Children’s Miracle Music after 15 years of research. Both morning and evening kids chores are set to specific timed music tracks on a CD.
The limited amount of time can also be a fun kids motivator — as ‘beating the clock’ becomes the game. Since a brain can only think of one thing at a time and the focus is now on seeing if you can finish the task before the set time frame INSTEAD of focusing on the task (eg cleaning the toilet), the time spent is like a game. And games are fun.
So often chore charts just create a list of things to do – so that when they are done they need to be inspected or approved by mom or dad. This inadvertently is a ‘set-up’ where the parent continues in the role of a task-master where she or he “inspects”, “takes away privileges”, has to continue to nag and remind the children to do each of their chores.
I get passionate about this subject – and the need for a different approach. Here is an example of some happy kids engaged in sharing their chores charts. I applaud the creativity that this family demonstrates, but I also have a caution about the approach that this mother uses in this video…
The actual functioning of what the mother has set up here would be a real challenge to continue to enforce. Also, she called the tasks “chores” which in and of itself tells the child that there is something that their mother is making them do. (whilst I do use the term ‘chores’ in this blog, I prefer to use the term ‘task’ with my family.) The only real motivational strategies that are set up for the children to actually DO their “chores” are:
That they will lose a privilege if they don’t do them (negative)
That the mother will probably need to nag if they don’t do them (negative)
So what is a positive alternative? I recommend all parents take on the role of TRAINER so that the children learn how to do the “chores” in such a way that they can be self-governed. This may be a little more work to begin with – but very soon the parents can get on with other more important aspects of their roles. Rewards charts are a whole different way to motivate kids. In the Children’s Miracle Music game children learn how to achieve goals – by earning points that are marked on the rewards chart. There is lot’s more to this – and I’ll be happy to share about that here soon.
The most effective way to get kids chores done is to set them to a specific sequence of timed music tracks. Music instantly motivates our bodies to be filled with the emotion that the music portrays. The music invokes an awareness of the passage of time without having to look at a clock. This is the basis of Children’s Miracle Music - setting perfectly timed music tracks to match the tasks that need to be done.
What is your approach to motivating kids to do their chores? Please leave a comment.
Welcome To A New World – Where Kids Do The Housework
Hi, I'm Christine Mullins, the proud mother of seven children. Over the years I've experienced all the joys, struggles, mistakes and successes that go with that role.
I've dealt with the challenge that every parent faces: how to get your children to do their chores, get themselves ready for the day on time, and get to bed on time in the evening.
After years of trial and error, plus extensive research and testing, Children's Miracle Music was born.
I'm passionate to help parents succeed in bringing up confident, healthy and happy children.
This blog is about my journey -- to share the inside story on children's motivation, home organization, family fun and harmony ...and lots more too. I hope you will join the conversation with comments and questions - here on this blog and on my Website.
had made their beds and were now doing their “
Write the dates on the “Goal” section of the “Points Chart”. Let them know that they need 100 points to reach their goal and go on their date. I always put “Dad” and then “Mom” at the top of the chart for everyone to understand that we all need to do our part in home chores. But the ‘real goal’ is to train our children to have the HABIT, SKILL and DESIRE to quickly and happily take care of each home area, as well as themselves. This ‘real goal’ needs to be achieved before they turn 18 and leave their parents’ home, so that they can then achieve this without exterior motivation.
She then starts handing the dry clothes from the dryer to Angel to hang up. (Angel has been practicing doing the laundry every day for three years and can almost completely do our families laundry by herself. Yes she is only 3!) Grace knows how to do these things because I have put my hand on her hand and done these things WITH her so many times that she now knows to do some of the laundry and bed making on her own.
Also - please send in your photos and we will post them on the blog.
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