Football is a game that millions of people spend millions of dollars watching each year. They will sit though rain, snow and freezing weather to watch the game they love.
The players of the game love it so much that they are willing to suffer broken bones and have life long injuries from playing it. Many men would rather go out in the cold muddy field and play football after work than sit in a comfortable, warm office building.
So what makes this game so desirable that millions would give up their comforts, money, time and energies to play it?
The answer is – it’s a GAME. It has points, strategies, goals, deadlines, rewards and a way to “win”. Self-esteem is built because a job is well done and is being noticed.
What if these components that turn football into a game were taken away? Would anyone WANT to “play” or watch football? The answer would be “no”. The points, the goals and the score-board are what motivate players and spectators to be fully engaged in the game.
Any hard task can become a game worth playing. If you add points, goals, rewards, deadlines and strategies, ALL tasks can be fun and motivating. Self-esteem grows from the recognition of a job well done.
When viewed in these circumstances the focus shifts from the drudgery of the task to the strategy of the game and how to get to the “goal”.
We all need to accomplish the same tasks to take care of our bodies and surroundings — every morning and evening for THE REST OF OUR LIVES. Putting them into a fun game to make them motivational makes perfect sense — and they aren’t nearly as hard as football!kidshousekeeping.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/img-3923.jpg" border="0" alt="Kids Chores" hspace="4" vspace="4" width="220" height="165" align="right" />
You can turn kids housekeeping into a game that is fun to play – with all the same elements that make football so compelling. Make the score-board into a rewards chart (unlike so many chore charts which are burdensome ‘to-do’ lists). And create goals worth playing for. The ideal goal for kids is a private date with either mom or dad – a special one on one time to look forward to.
When there is a limited amount of time to accomplish a task, one tends to hurry to get it done. That is why when you want something done, you should give it to a busy person.
For example, if you know that you have a book report due at 10:00am tomorrow morning (a limited amount of time) you will probably work on it until it is finished even if it takes all night. If you do not have a deadline for finishing your book report, it may take you weeks or months to do what could be accomplished in one evening.
The same is true for children. If they feel like they have all day to make their bed, they will probably take all day to do it. Giving them a specific amount of time (2 minutes) to accomplish the task enables them to do it quickly, which frees up the rest of their day to do other things.
This is the principle that has been designed into Children’s Miracle Music after 15 years of research. Both morning and evening kids chores are set to specific timed music tracks on a CD.
The limited amount of time can also be a fun kids motivator — as ‘beating the clock’ becomes the game. Since a brain can only think of one thing at a time and the focus is now on seeing if you can finish the task before the set time frame INSTEAD of focusing on the task (eg cleaning the toilet), the time spent is like a game. And games are fun.
The practice of defining expectations for your children and making lists of the tasks that need to be done for each room in your home frees up a mother’s time and energies so she can focus her time on important matters like training her children to be responsible, loving and successful adults.
There’s many tasks that need to get done in a home – and unless there is an effective system in place, parents find themselves doing what could otherwise be set up as ‘kids chores’. To divide up the kids chores, write down all of the rooms in your house and then add “dishes” and “laundry” to your list. Some people call this a chore chart.
Have every family member choose two “rooms” on the list. Let them know they will be doing a fast “ten minute clean up” in those two rooms each day. One room will be done in the morning and the other one in the evening.
Let them know you will post exactly what needs to be done and when it needs to be done on a list in each of the rooms. Let them know how grateful you are for each of them doing their part to take care of their home. I always remind my children that “you only get to keep what you take care of”.
When a family member feels responsible for a certain room, a mother doesn’t have to be a ‘broken record’ any more, having to say things over and over. Getting the kid’s chores done now becomes a game and is part of the family fun.
It took many years of research and testing to createChildren’s Miracle Music– but this is now the easiest way to ensure that all the kids chores are done on time – and without any nagging!
For example: my eight-year-old son Tommy was responsible for keeping our ‘dressing room’ clean. He knew that every night he would be hanging up any clothes that were left on the floor. Because it was completely clear that this was HIS responsibility, HE was the one asking our younger girls to make sure and pick up their clothes after they changed.
The same thing happened with my six-year-old daughter Faith. She knew that it as her responsibility to take care of our ‘gathering room’ every night for ten minutes. Because of this, she would frequently ask family members to pick up things before they left the room.
I was no longer a dictator, taskmaster, or nagging mother. I had provided a system for our home organization where we could all do our part and everyone knew exactly what their ‘part’ was. If I helped my daughter pick up the things in her ‘gathering room’ she would thank ME instead of the other way round. This is a GREAT kids motivation tool.
Many times mothers feel overwhelmed because their mind is full of a long list of “to do’s”, as they look around their home and feel that THEY have to do it all. This is NOT a mother’s job. A mother should look at herself as a manager of a small group of people – her children, and the building that houses them.
Being a manager means that you are responsible for making schedules, dividing up tasks, making the functions of the group run smoothly. This includes uplifting and praising your small group (your children), finding the motivational keys or tools and helping your group develop positive routines and habits.
One way to be a manager of the cleaning part of a home is to make a list of exactly what needs to be done in a room to maintain it. This is more than simply a chore chart. Write the person who is responsible for caring for that room at the top of the list and the time of day that he or she is expected to take care of it.
As part of your home organization, there should be one 10 minute room cleanup every morning and a different one every evening. Post the list in each room so that expectations are clearly DEFINED and can be easily fulfilled.
So often chore charts just create a list of things to do – so that when they are done they need to be inspected or approved by mom or dad. This inadvertently is a ‘set-up’ where the parent continues in the role of a task-master where she or he “inspects”, “takes away privileges”, has to continue to nag and remind the children to do each of their chores.
I get passionate about this subject – and the need for a different approach. Here is an example of some happy kids engaged in sharing their chores charts. I applaud the creativity that this family demonstrates, but I also have a caution about the approach that this mother uses in this video…
The actual functioning of what the mother has set up here would be a real challenge to continue to enforce. Also, she called the tasks “chores” which in and of itself tells the child that there is something that their mother is making them do. (whilst I do use the term ‘chores’ in this blog, I prefer to use the term ‘task’ with my family.) The only real motivational strategies that are set up for the children to actually DO their “chores” are:
That they will lose a privilege if they don’t do them (negative)
That the mother will probably need to nag if they don’t do them (negative)
So what is a positive alternative? I recommend all parents take on the role of TRAINER so that the children learn how to do the “chores” in such a way that they can be self-governed. This may be a little more work to begin with – but very soon the parents can get on with other more important aspects of their roles. Rewards charts are a whole different way to motivate kids. In the Children’s Miracle Music game children learn how to achieve goals – by earning points that are marked on the rewards chart. There is lot’s more to this – and I’ll be happy to share about that here soon.
The most effective way to get kids chores done is to set them to a specific sequence of timed music tracks. Music instantly motivates our bodies to be filled with the emotion that the music portrays. The music invokes an awareness of the passage of time without having to look at a clock. This is the basis of Children’s Miracle Music – setting perfectly timed music tracks to match the tasks that need to be done.
What is your approach to motivating kids to do their chores? Please leave a comment.
Welcome To A New World – Where Kids Do The Housework
Hi, I'm Christine Mullins, the proud mother of seven children. Over the years I've experienced all the joys, struggles, mistakes and successes that go with that role.
I've dealt with the challenge that every parent faces: how to get your children to do their chores, get themselves ready for the day on time, and get to bed on time in the evening.
After years of trial and error, plus extensive research and testing, Children's Miracle Music was born.
I'm passionate to help parents succeed in bringing up confident, healthy and happy children.
This blog is about my journey -- to share the inside story on children's motivation, home organization, family fun and harmony ...and lots more too. I hope you will join the conversation with comments and questions - here on this blog and on my Website.
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